1996 brought a European vacation with Lemmy, the Queen, Nelson Mandela and the most embarrassing voicemail EVER!
Christmas and New Years Eve of 1995 had gone by without a hitch and no arguing. I was happy because this was the first time in our relationship that I was invited to spend BOTH holidays with Lemmy. We stayed in but we were together, so I was happy. My gift to him that year was a tripod for his video camera; given with the hope of controlling the distraction of his constant directing during sex. He was extremely pleased. And oh, how it improved our sex life – The days of Lemmy the director was over. Now the camera was on its own, out of hand, so the hands could be free to roam and do their own thing. I was so fascinated by watching myself live on the TV, it is so erotic.
Motorhead began a United States tour on January 5th. Lemmy’s assistant Alex called me early in the tour to let me know that Lemmy had taken ill. The phone call was a comfort because it showed me that if anything bad happened to Lemmy, I would not find out about it through the media.
I called Lemmy in New Orleans to check on him for myself. We spoke for a while and had great phone sex and then as he said good-bye he closed with “I love you”.
This was the first time that Lemmy had said those words to me. It was January 29, 1996. I almost cried I was so happy.
And Again – One More Fucking Time!!
Motorhead was scheduled to play the House of Blues on the Sunset strip on February 15, and I just couldn’t wait. I was all aglow as I told my co-workers how my boyfriend was about to do a major show in Los Angeles. Most people that I worked with had no clue who the band Motorhead was. But there was one girl in my office who knew who they were and loved them.
Lemmy was always saying how badly he felt for me when I came to gigs because he couldn’t spend that much time with me. He felt compelled to entertain everyone backstage. Lemmy and I had plenty of time at home, so I was perfectly fine with the amount of time we spent together at his shows. It also gave me time to hang out with our friends that we didn’t see often.
I decided to invite my co-worker and her husband to the show. I called Alex and he was very happy to add my friends to the guest list. A couple of days before the show I told Lemmy that he didn’t have to worry about my being alone at the House of Blues show as I had invited a couple of friends. He went through the roof. He said that he didn’t want me hanging around with my friends gawking at him and he also didn’t think that I should come to the show either. I was so confused, well for a second anyway.
He had always said how he felt bad about the “amount of time spent with me” issue but on the other hand that he loved when I got to see him perform live. Of course, he had an alternative reason for not wanting me at the show; other women or another woman I should say. How could he continue to use his rock stardom to get chicks if his girlfriend and her friends were at every show? Right? I buried my pride and pulled up my low self-esteem and just took it. I endured the embarrassing task of having to un-invite my friends to the show. Boy did I feel stupid.
I never should have taken it upon myself to assume that I could invite people to a show that was not mine. And of course, later I found out that someone else had been invited as his personal guest that night (Read the next post for that story).
I took it like the loser that I was, and I accepted it. How could he tell me that he loved me and then two weeks later treat me like an outsider?
When I asked him a couple days later, he tried to act like he misunderstood about my friends and how he never would have put me through that embarrassment had he known. What? That was the whole issue in the first place. How could he pretend to have misunderstood when he had clearly told me that I had to uninvited my friends and that I shouldn’t come either?
We continued dating under tremendous strain until the beginning of April. I finally faxed him a letter explaining that I just couldn’t continue seeing him. AND…. three days later I called, and we made up.
We continued fighting and the more we fought the more I manically cleaned his apartment. I think I was trying to gain control of the situation which I felt was veering out of my grasp. The cleaning is something I have done all my life to ground me.
No more Taxi Rides!!
I finally bought a small pickup truck in May, and I think this worried Lemmy. Now I could come and go at will. I was no longer at the mercy of the cab drivers and of Lemmy paying cab fare. I was amazed that he had continued to pay cab fare from Long Beach to West Hollywood for all these years. But it gave him control. He knew exactly when I was showing up at his door or at The Rainbow. Now, he had no idea.
At the end of May Motorhead began a 6-week European tour. So more Postcards for the collection!
I always talked about visiting Italy. It was my dream vacation spot. Lemmy was good at listening and would eventually bring my dream to reality. That story is coming in future post. Stay tuned.
I think that Lemmy was disorganized by losing his electronic address book. This card he just gave to me with no message. The thought was there and I appreciated his attempt. He was always thinking of me.
London Calling
Motorhead had a very busy tour schedule and promotional schedule for the rest of that year. So, because he missed me terribly, Lemmy called from London on Saturday July 5 and invited me to join him on his time off.
It was 3:00 a.m. and I was fast asleep when the phone rang. Luckily, I answered it as I usually just let it ring at that hour. We chatted for a few minutes and then right out of the blue he said, “Why don’t you get on the next plane over and join me for a few days?” He acted like he was inviting me to Hollywood or Las Vegas or someplace close. But Europe, well that was another matter entirely. And I had a regular job with a jealous boss. Both of which I hated so I took the chance and said “yes, I will call Todd in the morning and make all the arrangements for the trip”.
Immediately I called my mother in Ohio and told her that I was going to Europe. Having never been out of the country, this was a big deal! I was bursting and I don’t think I slept the rest of the night.
I think that Lemmy was trying to repair our strained relationship in his mixed-up way. And at that moment all I cared about was that he was trying and that he cared about me.
The next morning, I called Todd so that he could get started on my travel arrangements. I left the next day, Monday July 7th, for London. Arriving that Tuesday, I was met by a lovely English driver who took me to meet Lemmy at The Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington.
When I arrived at the hotel I was first awestruck by the lobby, and then by the room, and finally by the beautiful view of Hyde Park. And Lemmy was being a true gentleman boyfriend. After a short talk and catch up he suggested that to relax after my 10-hour flight, I take a hot bath. He then gave me the fluffy rich hotel robe to put on after and fixed me a hot brandy ginger ale drink. We sat in the Window seat and looked out over Hyde Park and Lemmy pointed out Kensington Palace and explained that it was Princess Diana’s private home and offices. It was a very romantic evening with light drinks and dinner in the room. We relaxed and talked for hours.
The next morning, I slept in a bit, and we were off to Whittlesford a village in Cambridgeshire, England to visit some of Lemmy’s friends and for a visit to The Imperial War Museum at Duxford.
Lemmy and I met up with a couple of the Motorhead road crew at a 13th century monastery that was now The Red Lion Inn. And it was also very near to road manager ‘Hobbs’ home so it was convenient.
When we arrived at the room Lemmy was upset at the size. As a romantic gesture he had requested the room with the 4-poster bed, but he had no idea how small it would be. Tom, one of the crew told Lemmy that if he wanted, he would be willing to change rooms with us so that Lemmy could have a larger room. I wanted the 4-poster bed but to be honest I just couldn’t picture Lemmy in it. It was a very girlie type of room all fluff and lace.
That night we were invited to dine with road manager Hobbs and his girlfriend Jay. We had a great dinner and shared great stories and company. It was an excellent time and I really felt as though I was part of the Motorhead family. I felt that this trip was Lemmy’s way of showing me that he really wanted me in his life.
The next day we visited the Imperial War Museum Duxford. It was a great sunny day. How lucky (and strange) that the entire time I visited England the sun shone brightly each day. Everyone said that I must have brought the sunshine with me from California. Dave (our driver), Tom, Lemmy and I wandered through the many buildings and checked out each exhibit. We spent the entire day just relaxing and walking around. Lemmy was in heaven. He is such a War freak and just loves warplanes and uniforms, guns and well just anything to do with war. I was having such a good time that I didn’t get upset when he would wander off alone.
We returned to the Inn to change and then we were off to dinner with some more friends of Lemmy’s. I think record label friends but am not sure.
When we arrived at their house I was in awe. Lemmy’s friend Steve and his wife had restored a historical thatched cottage. It was magnificent! We were given a tour and then we settled in on the back patio to BBQ and have cocktails. The back yard was an old-fashioned English garden that was so beautiful. I told Lemmy “This is the kind of back yard that I want some day”. He looked at me and said, “Yeah, I can see that”. Heaven!
During conversation I discovered that Steve’s wife (Gosh I wish I could remember her name) was from Cleveland Ohio. Only a couple of hours from my birthplace. It was nice to have something in common.
The conversation that night, on the patio and around the dinner table revolved around the good old days when all these guys were running in the same rock n roll crowd. Some very big heavy hitters were mentioned. It was great to sit and listen to them talk of old memories; parties, concerts, tours, who stole whose women and who was all big ego etc. I felt like the luckiest rock n roll fan of all time at that moment. We drank wine and talked late into the evening. Everyone made me feel very welcome and as if I had approval from Lemmy’s circle of old friends.
I don’t know what it is about me and toilets, but Yes… another bathroom incident. I went to pee in this lovely thatched cottage bathroom. And when I went to flush I broke the handle. I had to tell Lemmy and our guests that I had broken their toilet. Lemmy just laughed and looked at me shaking his head. Oh, how embarrassed I was. But happy that all I did was pee!
The next day we returned to London to The Royal Garden Hotel.
Jay and I took a long walk-up Kensington around Hyde Park. When we came to The Royal Albert Hall traffic was backed up and a large crowd surrounded the place. Jay asked a police officer what was going on and he informed us that Nelson Mandela was arriving with the Queen.
Could I have had better luck and timing? I just couldn’t believe it. Jay and I got as close as we could, and I snapped a couple of pictures.
When we got back to the hotel, I was so excited I could barely tell Lemmy what had happened. He just giggled at me and shook his head. I was like a little girl who had just caught a peek at Santa Clause.
Lemmy then informed me that he was leaving in the morning to go to Brussels for a festival. I would be on my own for two days, but everything was arranged for my return to the United States. The room was paid up and a car was hired to take me to the airport. I was nervous. I helped Lemmy pack, and we had dinner together and I tried not to pout. The next morning, we had a grand breakfast early and returned to bed. Lemmy said how much he loved eating a big breakfast and then going straight back to sleep. He was gone at 11:00a.m. and I was alone in London.
I had two choices: go looking for trouble, bars, drinking, strange sex OR the tourist route, sightseeing and shopping. After reflecting on how wonderful Lemmy had been to me, I decided to go with the tourist choice, and I set out to see the city.
Lemmy left me a bit of cash, so I headed to Portobello Road and the flea markets for a shopping day. I saw all the major tourist attractions; Big Ben, The Tower of London, Westminster Abby, and the wonderful Buckingham Palace and had the time of my life. Exhaustion took over by the end of that second day.
The morning of my departure was a harrowing experience. Receiving a call from the driver of the car that was taking me to the airport was my wakeup alarm. I had only minutes to dress and pack my bags.
Customs agents asked to search my bags when I arrived at Heathrow Airport. Totally freaking me out!!! Not because of anything that was illegal in my bags but because I had packed a huge dildo that lights up like a flashlight. All I could think was that this customs woman was going to pull it out, hold it up for all to see and say, “Explain this”.
My stomach was in knots, and I was thinking, “everything has been so perfect why is this happening to me”. But luckily what caught the customs staff attention was my vintage bonnet hairdryer that I carry to wet set and dry my hair when I travel. The customs women, and by now there were several, all gathered round while I explained how I did my hair. It was surreal.
The agents did not discover the dildo, and I felt as though I had performed a public service by upgrading the hair potential of the Heathrow customs department.
When I returned to work that next Monday, I was at once marched into the Human Resource office and suspended from my job for one day. They said for taking a Leave without notice. I had called the Monday that I left for England leaving a very brief message saying that I had to leave the country on an emergency and would call with the details later.
Upon my arrival to the office after my suspension, my boss asked me to meet her and the HR person for a meeting. My boss asked about Lemmy and his health. “Fine” I said, and she accused me of lying. Immediate shock and terror. She then played the voicemail that I had left when calling with additional details of my untimely absence.
Whoops!!!!
Well, when I called from the Red Lion Inn to give my boss “more details” about “my emergency absence “the call went to voicemail…so…. I left a message lying and making up a story about how Lemmy had fallen and how I needed to stay to care for him. I continued to say that I would return to work the coming Monday.
What I didn’t know was that when I hung up the phone after leaving my message, I had failed to place the phone in its cradle to properly disconnect the call.
I sat in shock as I listed to Lemmy, and I discuss my hatred for my boss and her complete and total incompetence. I was completely unaware that our whole conversation was recording on the voice mail on her office phone.
Needless to say – she was a little bit upset. She started to cry, and I sat speechless. What could I say. Caught on tape, I was promptly fired from my job!! Well deserved and currently I feel bad now thinking back on the terrible things I said about her on that voicemail. We live and learn and move on.
When I told Lemmy and Hobbs about it later, they laughed. Hobbs said “I wondered why that call from the Red Lion Inn to California was so expensive”.
Coming soon – The trouble with Porn Stars!