Category: Lemmy Stories

I spent the early weeks of 1999 calling Lemmy again and again, leaving messages he never returned. When Lemmy was angry, he shut down completely. No explanation, no conversation — just silence. And after the year we’d had, maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised.

1998 had worn us thin. I kept wanting more from our relationship — some sign of evolution, some hint that he cared enough to grow with me. But he always said, “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.”
To me, it was broken. I loved him deeply, but I couldn’t breathe in a world where nothing changed, especially while I was buried under brutal chemistry and biology courses and the stress he said “didn’t exist.” Lemmy didn’t believe in stress. He thought it was an “American invention” — just another excuse to complain.

So, when he stopped talking to me, the silence felt like confirmation that maybe I needed to walk forward without him.

Trying to Move On

In February, I went to see Sepultura at the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. Randy Castillo was there with the lovely Angela, and I was so happy to see them. He told me Lemmy was also there and encouraged me to talk to him. Randy always tried to help me understand Lemmy. When I finally saw him, we exchanged a few words, then drifted to different parts of the club. My heart was breaking. I loved him, but I couldn’t stay with someone who feared change more than losing me. And who did not want me to change and grow?

A couple of weeks later I went to a book signing to hear Danny Sugarman read and discuss the books that he had written about Jim Morrison and The Doors. After the reading I decided to stop by Lemmy’s apartment to return his copy of the book Wonderland Avenue: Tales of Glamor and Excess that he had loaned me. I’d even had Danny sign it, hoping it might serve as an olive branch. I slipped into Lemmy’s apartment building without buzzing and knocked on his door. When he opened it, he looked stunned. From the thick smoky cigarette haze behind him, I could tell he hadn’t opened the door all day. He stepped out, clearly not alone. I handed him the book. “I had it signed for you,” I said.

He grunted. “Is that all?”

“Yes,” I said, turning away.

Needing to move on and live my life. I continued dating actor Ed L. and threw myself into the glittering Hollywood nightlife; parties, celebrity events, nights at the Baked Potato.

I was having the kind of fun I always wished I could’ve had with Lemmy.

But every thrill felt hollow.

On my birthday that year I went to a book signing by Ray Manzarek and was so excited. The Doors were an obsession of mine since college. So, meeting a hero of mine was a highlight of my life.

Late April, a date took me to the Rainbow for dinner. Lemmy was there. As we sat on the patio, I saw him approach. My heart jumped. Was he angry? Going to ignore me? Instead, he sat behind us and stared silently at my date. I couldn’t see his face, but my date whispered that Lemmy was giving him an “evil glare.” I suggested we move inside, and after some hesitation, he agreed. We didn’t see Lemmy again that night. I never saw that guy again either.

In June, I attended my first Millionaire and Models Mansion party. These were parties hosted in the Hollywood Hills, Beverly Hills and Bel-Air. They were held in exclusive locations in the huge mansions. Famous Celebrities, Musicians and hot Girls were invited to attend for free. Average guys could buy a ticket to attend if they could find the organizer and afford the expensive entry fee. My friends and I would dress super sexy and go early to the party’s and drink and eat for free and – then go out to the clubs.

The parties were glamorous; the food was great and if you could get in, you were in for good. The main organizer would call me weekly to invite me to parties. It was great for a poor girl like me. But as with anything good like this, there was a dark side.

Life moved on, but nothing replaced the strange mix of security and chaos that came with being loved — or almost loved — by Lemmy.

The Break That Broke Everything

In August, after months of silence, Lemmy called from Germany. His voice was warm, familiar, grounding. We talked about seeing each other when he got off tour. I didn’t realize until that moment how much I had needed that lifeline.

Dating wasn’t joy; it was distraction. And despite everything, Lemmy was the one who made me feel safe.

When the Motorhead tour ended Lemmy left me a message. He was home and wanted to see me. He asked me to join him to see The Cult at the House of Blues in Hollywood.

August 21st, I went to pick up Lemmy for the show. We had dinner and Whitfield Crane and Slim Jim Phantom were there, which is always a fun time.

The night was great… until it wasn’t.

For some reason, Lemmy got unusually drunk and stumbly. I had not seen him like this in public. The HOB was a funky place with multiple levels of stairs everywhere. There would be two or three stairs in one spot and several stairs in the other. Not an easy place to be drunk in so I was worried that he would fall and hurt himself. And eventually – he did.

Lemmy turned and suddenly was falling. I reached out to grab him, but he stumbled and fell into a small group of people standing below. I immediately said, “It’s time to go home”.

When we got back to Lemmy’s place, he was ready to fight and argue about staying together. He suddenly wants a commitment?!!  Two hours of fighting, all fueled by alcohol, insecurity, and years of unresolved feelings.

I got up to leave. I couldn’t take it anymore. He was so drunk and weird!  He shouted “If you walk out that door you will never walk in again! I will never speak to you again.”

I left!!!  Slamming the door behind me.

A couple days later I called and left a message saying that I was sorry. I was still feeling a bit confused by the fight but felt that I should apologize. And then a few days later Lemmy appeared on my called ID and all I heard was “Sorry, wrong number”

But Lemmy Always Knew How to Surprise Me

Months passed, and life reshaped itself around the absence. I learned new things. Met new people. Pushed myself in ways I never would have if we’d stayed together uninterrupted.

Then one afternoon, the phone rang.

It was Lemmy.

His voice was excited, almost boyish.

He’d been nominated for a Grammy. The 42nd Annual Grammy Awards!

He wanted me to go with him.

A Grammy Invitation That Changed Everything

There are moments in life that feel like movie scenes, where some cosmic hand nudges two people back toward each other. The Grammy invite was ours. After all the fighting, all the distance, all the hurt — he still wanted me by his side, walking the red carpet as his woman.

Lemmy and Motörhead were nominated for Best Metal Performance against some heavyweights:

• Iron Man (Live) – Black Sabbath
• Bad Blood – Ministry
• Enter Sandman – Motörhead
• Starfuckers, Inc. – Nine Inch Nails
• Superbeast – Rob Zombie

Their nominated track, a cover of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” was a collaboration with the California band Zebrahead for ECW: Extreme Music, a compilation album from the now-defunct Extreme Championship Wrestling. Zebrahead was managed by Motorheads management group. So even though the nomination was not for an original, Lemmy penned Motorhead song, a Grammy nod was a big deal.

I could hardly wait for the day to arrive. It was only 3 days between the invite and the show, but it felt like an eternity.

I shopped and shopped to find the right look, the right outfit. Finally finding a great outfit at a shop in Toluca Lake. I wanted to look perfect.

All I could think about were all the times I had sat in front of the tv watching The Grammy’s wishing I could be on that red carpet, wishing I could be in that audience, in the room with some much talent. I was nervous to think about it, as I just knew something would happen to jinx my chance.

Getting Ready

The morning of the Grammys, Los Angeles was drenched. Sheets of rain slammed against my windows as I washed the last of the dye from my hair. The kind of storm that ruins good hair days and expensive outfits without apology.

But it was hard to stay calm with the rain beating against my windows and rattling the roof like someone tossing rocks overhead.

“That’s not how people dress at this event.”

 By 11:00 I was at Lemmy’s place, ready to get dressed. A bit damp, but nothing was going to get in my way, nothing was going to ruin our day.

I pulled out the outfit I’d been dying to wear: a tight black dress, a red beaded cover, and a red feather boa — a little glam, a little rock ’n’ roll, perfect for the Grammy red carpet.

Lemmy took one look and shook his head. Oh no, this was not the face, the expression, I was planning on. He then said “That’s not how people dress at this event”

I stared at him, screwing my emotions down tight. This was the Grammys!!!  Land of Sequins, feathers, and this very year, J. Lo’s green jungle dress. But this was his day, his nomination so I ditched the boa and beads, stuck with the plain black, and swallowed my disappointment.

The Limo Ride and Arrivals

By the time our limo arrived, the rain had faded to a weak, glistening mist. Todd Singerman, Monica, Ali, and Randy Castillo piled in with us. Lemmy tried to act nonchalant, but the constant clicking of his nails gave him away.

By the time we arrived at 2:30, the rain had stopped and the sun was making a weak attempt to shine through.

We hit the Red Carpet — something I’d only ever watched on TV. It felt like stepping through a television screen into another reality. Flashbulbs popped, velvet ropes swayed, and I felt out of my body. I quickly learned there’s an “early” carpet for the pre-telecast arrivals and the later arrivals for the big, headline-making A-listers that were part of the show you see live on tv.

Lemmy was nominated for an award that was presented in the afternoon, not on the televised part of the show, so, we were the early crowd. We were not “A-list”, but it was still super fantastic and surreal and great just to be on any Grammy list!

Halfway down the carpet, I heard it:

“Debra! Debra!”

It was Jay Brothers — the friend I was with the night I met Lemmy back in ’93. He was working on a camera crew on the carpet. We hugged, laughed, and marveled at the small-world moment.

There were celebrities everywhere — Glen Campbell (taller than I imagined), Jeff Beck, B.B. King, Rubén Blades, The Goo Goo Dolls, Zebrahead, Andy Williams.

Lemmy and Jeff Beck had a quick chat and Lemmy introduced me as “his girlfriend”.

At one point we left the red carpet and went onto an outside deck. The rain had cleared out, and the air was cool and crisp. In the sky the clouds were gray and heavy. I was glad to have the time to catch my breath and try to relax. Lemmy slipped away to talk to Dave Grohl — Later he admitted,

“I’m not introducing you — you might run off with him.”

(Honestly, he wasn’t entirely wrong. I did have a huge talent crush.)

The Announcement

We entered the arena for the pre-televised portion of the day, the lights softer and the energy more focused than the chaos outside. Lemmy and I found our seats, and I slipped my hand into his, feeling the familiar weight of his rings against my fingers.

As the categories rolled by, my breath began to catch. When “Best Metal Performance” drew closer, the whole room seemed to tighten—like even the air was listening. For a moment, everything around us paused.
I held my breath as they opened the envelope.

Black Sabbath. “Iron Man.”

The crowd reacted, but Lemmy just gave a subtle shrug, almost amused. He squeezed my hand, completely unfazed, as if the outcome had never mattered to him at all.

 “It wasn’t even a song I wrote,” he shrugged later.

The Televised Ceremony

When the main award show began Lemmy and I found our seats to watch the show.

Hosted by Rosie O’Donnell, the ceremony had a wild lineup: Will Smith, Backstreet Boys, TLC, Sting, Santana with Rob Thomas, Britney Spears, Elton John, Faith Hill, Ricky Martin, Kid Rock, Dixie Chicks, and Whitney Houston.

This was the year of Santana! They won 8 awards!

I remember Ricky Martin in a ring of fire dancing and being super sexy. He was my favorite performance.

At one point, Lemmy ducked out for a cigarette (possibly during Faith Hill’s performance — I’d been playing her new country album non-stop at home, so maybe it was too much for him hearing it live and in-person). I stayed in my seat, soaking in the sheer star power in that room.

Staples Center Executive Suite AKA Backstage at the Grammy’s

Later, we slipped into an executive suite where musicians and industry giants mingled over filet mignon skewers and an open bar.

Sadly, with his new temporary teeth, Lemmy struggled to eat anything comfortably. He’d turn away from the room, nibbling tiny bites while we tried to shield him. Wincing and growling under his breath I could see how upset he was. His frustration almost ended the night, but Randy cheered him up and we stayed. Suddenly, something clicked and he was happy again. Maybe a bump of speed or the alcohol kicked in.

The After-Party

We headed over to the Biltmore Hotel for the after-party, where different ballrooms pulsed with their own styles of music; one room throbbed with rock and blues, another spilled jazz into the hallway, and a third was packed with people dancing shoulder-to-shoulder. We stopped first to watch Eric Burdon and the New Animals, the whole room swirling with energy.

Everywhere we turned, the night buzzed with motion—trays of food swept past us, champagne flowed, and famous faces slipped through the crowd. The night felt like it had a pulse of its own.

Wandering through the maze of rooms, we suddenly stumbled into a room where Dwight Yoakam was performing. I absolutely LOVE Dwight Yoakam. Lemmy endured enough of my country music obsession at home, but he genuinely loved this performance. He leaned in and said, “This is really good.”

It ended up being one of those rare nights when we were perfectly in sync — no bickering, no stress. Just music, laughter, and the rare feeling of being completely on the same wavelength. I was so proud to be on his arm.

The Morning After

The next morning, I slept in until 10:00. Lemmy gave me the bed and was still asleep on the couch when I left around 1:00 p.m. It was a beautiful day, and I wasn’t about to waste it indoors. I went home, unpacked, went for a run, and reflected on the whirlwind.

That day wasn’t about winning or losing — it was about being part of something unforgettable. And I’ll always remember it as one of the best days Lemmy and I ever had together.

Lemmy didn’t come home with a Grammy, but that night felt like a win.

And as always, just when I least expected it…
Lemmy surprised me.

Coming Soon

Back on Tour with Motorhead!

1998 was a year of fun unexpected parties, emotional highs and lows, and physical and mental challenges for both Lemmy and me.  Little did I know that the year would start off slowly and painfully and end with me naked on a firetruck.

Lemmy’s health struggles were a constant source of worry, compounded by his stubborn refusal to seek help or change his habits.

 For Lemmy physically, it was a year of battles—against his body, his habits, and I suspected, against his own fears. His coughing fits were relentless, each one leaving him gasping for air. The sound of it was wrenching, and the sight of him, frail yet defiant, made my heart ache. The scent of cigarettes and whiskey seemed to follow him like a shadow, a reminder of the life he had built and the price it demanded. He wouldn’t stop, though; stopping wasn’t in his nature. He bore his suffering with a kind of stubborn pride, as though acknowledging it would mean surrender.

For me, 1998 was a year of its own kind of trial. Balancing the emotional demands of our relationship with the unforgiving rigor of college was more than I had ever predicted. Organic Chemistry, in particular, felt like an unrelenting adversary, its equations and mechanisms swirling in my mind like an impossible puzzle. I spent late nights hunched over textbooks, the smell of coffee my constant companion, while Lemmy dozed fitfully in the other room, his coughing echoing down the hallway. I felt pulled in two directions—toward the man I loved and toward the future I was trying to build for myself. Neither path seemed willing to wait for the other.

One weekend, Lemmy came to stay at my place, and his coughing was worse than ever. I watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong. Fear clutched at me.

I called Lemmy’s manager Todd and let him listen to Lemmy as he slept, breaking into severe coughing. Todd called a doctor and had the doctor call me. I described Lemmy’s symptoms over the phone and let the doctor listen to Lemmy as I had done with Todd. This was one of the perks of being a rock star; calling a doctor in the middle of the night and having them help you over the phone.

The doctor called in a prescription to my local pharmacy, and I took on the role of nurse, coaxing Lemmy to take the medication and making sure he ate. It wasn’t just worry driving me, it was love, plain and simple. But it was hard to watch him suffer, harder still knowing that he wouldn’t see a doctor, quit smoking, or slow down. He hated feeling like a burden, I knew, and his pride wouldn’t let him change.

 He was sleeping so heavily and even the heavy coughing and gasping for air didn’t wake him. Being sick all year and he was sick and tired of being sick and tired. He once said that he was embarrassed when he was in public and would begin to cough and by the way people would look at him and move away. But he would never see a doctor or quit smoking and drinking and of course taking the speed. I was frustrated as I wanted him to do something, anything to help himself.

Rainbow Christmas Party

As the year wound down, Christmas Eve brought a brief reprieve. The Maglieri family (Owners of the Rainbow Bar and Grill) hosted a holiday party, and for one night, the air was filled with warmth and laughter instead of tension and worry. The party was great; tons of food and drink, rock stars and friends, we had a great time. It was like being at The Rainbow but in a nice home as everyone in attendance were regulars of the bar. I finally got the opportunity to meet Slash and his then wife Perla. Slash was funny and super nice, tall and handsome. I can’t think of anything nice to say about his wife Perla, so I won’t. After the party we all headed to the Rainbow to continue to party.

The night was going so well, however, when I danced with someone else, Lemmy’s jealousy flared. He walked up to me on the dance floor and growled “I’m leaving, you do what you want.”  He then marched off and I followed.

When we got to his apartment, he started arguing with me. He screamed about how I was dancing too sexy and was just trying to make him jealous. The tension had been building all year. He exploded and I exploded right back. I tried to explain that I was just dancing, and that he had never once in all the years that we had been together complained about it being too sexy. He was so angry and finally went into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him. I laid down on the couch and cried myself to sleep. Another beautiful night ruined.

Christmas Day began with silence. I busied myself with cleaning, determined to make the apartment presentable for any friends who might stop by. The smell of turkey filled the small space, mixing with the sharper scent of cleaning products. Lemmy’s mood was heavy, I could see the exhaustion behind it, the frustration of a year spent fighting battles he didn’t know how to win. I was a little hungover from the evening before but still felt like partying. Lemmy’s friend Tom Rainone called and invited us to his place for an evening of fun. I was excited to go and was very happy for a change of pace. Tom was a special effects creator and was so interesting.

Tom told us a funny story about how he was transporting a prop that was a couple of burnt bodies. The prop was so realistic. A neighbor, who did not know what Tom did for a living, called the police on him. He laughed as he told us how frightening it was to have a ton of cops roll up on him, guns pulled. They demanded that he show them the dead burnt body that was in his car’s trunk.  He was the genius Director who created the Motorhead video “Sacrifice” so maybe the prod was for that video.

After an hour or so of hanging out at Tom’s, telling stories and listening to music, our host left the room. When he returned, he was carrying a black medical bag. He stood in front of us, opened the bag and said, “pick your poison.” The doctors’ bag was filled with a variety of drugs for our choosing. I thought “Oh, how fun” and took a Vicodin and swallowed it down with a swig of beer. I thought it might help with my tiny hangover. However, about an hour later I was throwing up violently in the bathroom.

Lemmy and Tom and by this time Tom’s girlfriend were standing over me holding back my hair and giving me a cold towel to hold on my forehead. I don’t think I have ever been so sick so quickly. When I was finished being sick Tom helped me into his bedroom and laid me down. He said “I’ve been out of town and while I was away Marky Ramone stayed here, he was the last person to sleep on that very pillow”. He knew that I was a Ramones fan and must have thought that would make me happy.

The last thought to pass through my head that Christmas night was “Wow, I’m sleeping right where Marky Ramone has slept.” And yes, Tom was right, it did make me happy. It was a small, silly comfort, but at that moment, I took it.

The next morning Tom drove Lemmy and I back to Lemmy’s apartment. Hungover and embarrassed, I ate and took a nap. When Lemmy finally began to speak to me, we argued. I left thinking that I had finally gone too far and that Lemmy would never speak to me again. Attempting to call him the next day, he just wouldn’t speak. I really thought it was over.

NEW YEARS EVE AND THE MYSTERY AWARD

New Years Eve of 1998 began on a promising note. But don’t they all?

 Lemmy finally called me on the 30^th and told me that he was getting an award. He wasn’t really sure who was giving him the award or what it was for, but he wanted to share it with me. I was just happy that he was speaking to me. Immediately, I went out and bought a new outfit. I really wanted Lemmy to be proud of being with me. I dressed at Lemmy’s, and he seemed really impressed with how I looked. A long black limo came to pick us up and I felt like all our problems were going right out the window, we were on our way to a grand evening. I was telling myself “Don’t get drunk and make a fool of yourself”, “Behave”, “Be a good girl”.

The award show was held at The Country Club, the rock club in Reseda California in the San Fernando Valley. We went to the bar and ordered drinks and found our way backstage to look around and then found our table in the audience.

Well, this is where things take a turn.

I got up to go to the restroom and when I got back to the table Lemmy glared at me and said, “You missed it”. I said, “missed what?” I was only gone for a few minutes. He showed me his award and said “I just got down from the stage, and you missed it. I really wanted you to share this moment with me and you blew it.” He was accusing me as if I had picked just that moment to go pee! He said “I just wanted my girlfriend to see me get an award “and it just broke my heart. But his anger at the situation grew and was being directed at me, suddenly all that was wrong was my fault.

We sat glaring at each other for a few minutes and then Lemmy said, “let’s go” and back to the limo we went. He instructed the driver to take us to The Rainbow and drop us off. He was mostly silent on the ride back to Hollywood. I kept talking and finally he loosened up and let me give him a blowjob. Now he was happy again.

THE RAINBOW BAR AND GRILL AKA OUR SAFE PLACE

We arrived at The Rainbow to find our friends Randy Castillo and Mike Inez, of the band Alice in Chains, at a table on the patio. The evening suddenly looking up. We partied and drank and ate. Randy was with his friend Angela. She is blond and very “girl next door” cute with little freckles and the sweetest personality. She and I really hit it off and the guys loved it. We flirted and sat on each other’s lap, gave each other little kisses, and as we headed to the restroom, we held hands. We really had everyone going.

Lemmy seemed to be enjoying himself at first, but then I noticed he had gone quiet. As the bartenders began closing up and ushering people out, Randy and Mike suggested we all head back to their place to keep the party going. I was up for it, but Lemmy just wanted to go home.

I kept pushing him to maybe get him back into the party mood, but he was only getting angry. Soon we were arguing, and he stalked off home alone. I just stood there wanting to go to a party but also wanting to be with Lemmy.

911 – FIREFIGHTERS TO THE RESCUE

As I walked out of the Rainbow trying to decide what my next move would be, a big red fire truck pulled up in front of me. Someone in the truck called my name. Looking up, I immediately recognized a firefighter that I had met at a fourth of July party earlier in the year. I walked over to the truck, and he said, “Want to come with us?” He put out his hand and said, “come on in”. I couldn’t believe it; this has to be the fantasy of the majority of women in the world! To be on a fire truck with four of the sexiest firefighters around.

I jumped into the truck and off we went.

One of the firefighters commented on how much he liked my outfit. I was wearing a jumpsuit, which was completely back less. Basically, just pants with two strips of cloth that came up to cover my breasts and tied behind my neck. He said, “It looks very soft” and reached out to run one of his hands across the cloth covering my nipple.

The firefighters on my other side of me then ran his hand across the other nipple. I giggled, reached up to untie the knot at my neck and let the two cloth strips fall. The guys all broke into applause. And each of the firefighters seated next to me took a breast and began to fondle and nibble. I was in heaven.

The guys in the front seat each wanted to take a turn. We pulled the truck onto a cul-de-sac on a dark street, and I moved to the front of the truck so that they could each have a feel. They let me try on a firemen’s hat and we took pictures. What an adventure. I rode around with them for a short while and then they dropped me off near Lemmy’s apartment.

When they dropped me off near Lemmy’s apartment, the gravity of the year settled over me.

Inside, Lemmy wouldn’t speak to me. His silence stretched into weeks. I tried to focus on school, but it was impossible not to feel the weight of his absence. Organic Chemistry seemed trivial compared to the emotional chasm between us. By the time he finally called in February, I was exhausted—by school, by love, by life itself. Looking back, 1998 wasn’t just a year of challenges; it was a year that taught me the depths of compassion, the strength it takes to stand by someone you love, and the quiet courage of holding on when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

COMING SOON

The Grammy Award Show With  Lemmy!

And back on Tour with Motorhead – Hello Scandinavia!

1998 introduced Lemmy to more intense competition for my time and attention – surprisingly from glorious Hollywood. In addition to the Zoo and my biology studies I had new friends, new lovers, and was hanging out in a different very old school Hollywood scene. Hollywood movies in black and white are my favorite and suddenly I am having dinner with the stars that I saw on the big screen. Enveloped in awe, I was gravitating to a new world and Lemmy could feel it.

Do I ever hate to admit this but I…again woke up New Years Day – Hungover.

I will not bore you again with the ugly details and complain again about terrible New Years evenings. I will say that Lemmy was such a great guy that night, he was patient and gentle with me when he could have been angry. Instead, he held my hair back when I was sick and brought me a glass of water. –  Big tip: Never give a drunken person a FULL glass of water, tiny water is good, big water is bad. When I spilled water all over the bathroom floor and myself and then I passed out wet under the toilet, all before midnight, Lemmy dried me off as much as he could as I was crying and rolling around like a rag doll. He removed the soaking wet robe that I was wearing, put me in a nice dry robe and then put me to bed.

Sorry, I did bore you… Ok let’s move on!

The first two weeks of 1998 we hardly spoke. We fought over the phone and hung up on each other daily it seemed.

And then a change, mid- January, Lemmy called and wanted to come to my apartment to spend the weekend. I was in shock! We always stayed at his place. He had never set foot in my place over the 5 years that we had been dating. I think he could feel that I needed a change of environment when we were together.

On February 27th Lemmy called from the rehearsal studio. He wanted me to meet him and Phil Campbell at Now Voyager, a little club in Toluca Lake within walking distance from my apartment. And Phil was staying at a place up the hill from me so convenient for all. I walked down the block to meet them, and we drank and hung out. Phil is a total character making us laugh and they were joking and telling stories. After partying at the club, Lemmy and I took a walk and we wandered into an antique shop. I noticed a beautiful decanter and Lemmy bought it for me. We went home to hang out, listen to the days recordings and fill the new decanter with bourbon. Jack Daniels of course!

Motorhead Live!!

 At the beginning of March, Motorhead played another show at Universal Amphitheater and yet again getting into that place was like breaking into an armed camp. Luckily, this time when the list had not been sent to the will call booth on time, I just drove the mile and a half mile home and called Alex on his cell phone. In a panic he said, “Come back to the gig, I’ll meet you at the front gate and walk you to Lemmy personally.” I got back in my car and drove back to Universal and to Lemmy.

The strangest/coolest thing about this show was that after the show was over and we had partied backstage, Lemmy came home with me! It was surreal to see a rock star on an arena size stage putting on this amazing concert, entertaining thousands and then put him in my truck and go home. It was weird, it was like Lemmy was two vastly different people: Lemmy the rock star up on the stage and Lemmy the boyfriend who sat around all day on the couch in his underwear eating ice cream out of the carton.

Radio Hour

On Saturday March 28, I was hanging out at Lemmy’s watching Star Trek when he came into the room all dressed to leave. I looked up and said, “Where are you off to?” He said, “I have an interview on a talk radio station, 97.1 FM or something’ ‘Alex is coming to pick me up.” I replied “Oh, I listen to Howard Stern and the other talk shows on that station every day and I love it.” He looked at me and said, “Well go get dressed, you can come check out the station and maybe meet some of the people that you listen to.”

I jumped up and ran into the room to put clothes on. Alex came by and took us to the station. I was so excited. I don’t know whom I thought I was going to meet on a Saturday night as I listened to the station only during day work hours, but I loved the shows and I wanted to see where it all went down. David Adelson an entertainment reporter, producer, E! On-air personality had set up an interview with Lemmy and Hard Rock/ Metal journalist Lon Friend on the state of Heavy Metal and of music in general. From January 1998 through January 2000 David did a show called “C-Notes” on KLSX 97.1 FM Los Angeles. Roy Trakin of HITS Magazine was his co-host.

When we arrived at the station I was fully prepared to be taken into a “green” room and told to sit and wait until the interview was over, but no.

The producer, when introduced to me as Lemmy’s girlfriend, invited me to join in the interview. I could barely breath. I was going to be on the radio, and better yet on the station that I listened to every day. They showed us into the studio and put these huge headphones on us and explained a little of how the flow of the show would go.

I must have looked like such a freak perched up on the studio stool, giant headphones on and a huge grin plastered on my wide-eyed face. Lemmy told the producer how I listened to the daily shows and how excited I was to be there. The producer explained which shows were done in that very studio where I sat. I was in awe.

David Adelson joined us, and he began to ask questions of Lemmy and Lon. I sat laughing at the jokes and stories, nodding at the things I agreed with. My mind was spinning. And then near the end of the show David turned to me and said, “So Debra, what’s it like to go out on a date with Motorheads’ Lemmy?” Live on the air, on the radio and I was stunned. I can’t even remember what I said. Something like, “it’s great, Blah Blah Blah. Something more about keeping up with him and chasing off other women…. Blah blah Blah…. and giggling followed by something about our dates always including the Rainbow… more giggling… and then it was over. It was all a blur.

After the radio interview we all went to the Rainbow for dinner and drinks. I wish I wasn’t such a spaz when I find myself in the most exciting moments of my life. When I think back on this night like other surreal nights that I have had with Lemmy, I mostly remember how hot and uncomfortable my head was. And the feeling of the sweat collecting in my armpits.

Incoming Mother Alert

Lemmy is the kind of guy who is not afraid of anything. He can manage most situations -except one that I can think of- meeting my mother. She had flown out from Ohio to visit me, and we decided to fly to Las Vegas for a day trip. We caught the 8:00 am flight, arrived in Vegas in an hour and started drinking and gambling straight away. As we sat at the bar Cleopatra’s Barge in Ceasars Palace we were approached by an older gentleman who struck up a conversation. He was charming and funny and when he discovered that I was a docent at the LA Zoo asked if I could provide a private tour for him and his children. Of course, I said yes, and we exchanged information. Little did I know that this man would over the following year be big competition for Lemmy.

Mom and I caught the last flight out of Vegas for L.A. When we arrived at the airport, I suggested that we catch a cab and go directly to The Rainbow for a late dinner. Mom agreed since she is totally hip and cool about drinking and meeting my friends. I knew that there was a good chance that Lemmy would be there. I was disappointed when I asked him prior to Mom’s arrival if he wanted to meet her. He had asked “Why?” I replied because you’re my boyfriend of 5 years and you should meet my mother. He was so freaked out and tried to make up these strange justifications as to why meeting a girl’s mother was stupid. I knew that it was just fear.

When we arrived at the restaurant we were treated like VIPs by the staff and all my friends came by to chat with my little white-haired mother.

As we ate our meal I looked up and there was Lemmy walking right toward us. The look on his face as it registered that it was me sitting at that table and then that it was my mother sitting next to me was classic. He almost turned to walk in the other direction. I could see the hesitation in his body. I nudged my mom and said, “there’s Lemmy.” He just looked away and walked/ran right by our table and up the stairs to the upper bar.

I was shocked and embarrassed. Luckily, a friend of Lemmy’s and mine were sitting with my mother and me and he was just as surprised as I was. We both looked at each other and just couldn’t believe how cowardice Lemmy was. My mom just laughed and shook her head. Now I was afraid that maybe she was thinking that I had moved to California and had lost my mind and was just imagining that I was in this long relationship with Lemmy.

The next day I tried to explain the situation and I think she understood. She offered no advice, which is good because the situation was so unique. I was not dealing with a normal situation or a normal man.

So, while on a “break” from Lemmy, I started dating the interesting man I met in Las Vegas.

Turns out he was an extremely popular character actor that has appeared in more than two hundred movies and tv shows. When I met him, I thought he seemed familiar, but he had that kind of face where you think familiar, but you cannot place it. And he was fun. A new kind of fun for me. Not just the Rainbow but parties and dancing and UCLA basketball games. He was friends with tons of old school Hollywood actors.

Eddie L was a member of the Beverly Hills Friar’s Club. They held these events where they would honor a member and hold a big dinner. One evening he invited me to attend the event to honor Larry King. I was floored. That night we shared a table with sports commentator Al Micheals and his wife, and Actor Red Buttons. Eddie introduced me to several Hollywood legends including Milton Beryl, Steve Allen, Larry King, Charles Durning, and Richard Dreyfuss. I love old movies, and this was a night I will never forget. And everyone was so nice and friendly.

Ed L. was fun; Dancing, dinner, Jazz clubs. We would cook together and dance in the living room. One night we went to the movie premiere of “Poodle Springs,” and I was standing on the Paramount Studio backlot, with drink in hand having conversation with the star James Caan and movie director Sidney Pollock. I kept thinking “Wow, this is Sonny from the Godfather.” Very surreal. Very cool.

Another night Ed L. and I were having dinner at Matteo’s Italian Restaurant in Beverly Hills and Tony Curtis joins us for a drink at out table. Mr. Curtis was having dinner with his family: including his daughter Jamie Lee Curtis. I was in heaven and in awe.

Lemmy had major competition at this point. When it came down to a choice between going over to Lemmy’s to watch WWII documentaries on tv or going out to dinner with movie stars and dancing I began choosing the Hollywood way.

Lemmy and I did not talk until 2 months after my mom had been in Los Angeles,

 I was so upset with his behavior. I think at that point I knew that our relationship would never progress beyond where it was, that we would always be in this weird situation of caring about each other and enjoying each other but only to a point. Anything beyond that was just too intense and scary for him. He would say “If it’s not broke don’t fix it.”

Rock Star Dinner

Motorhead went out on tour that August and when Lemmy arrived back in Los Angeles he called. We were so angry with each other and had a terrible fight right before he left and then there, he was on the phone asking me out. And it was dinner in a restaurant that was NOT the Rainbow.

The guests at dinner included Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols and Wayne Kramer of the MC5, Hugo Burnham, Howard Thompson, David Aaron Clark, Jade Blue Eclipse and Annabel Chong.
It was a birthday party for Howard Thompson if I remember correctly.  One of the girls had their teeth filed into tiny fangs. Very cool I thought. We had a reserved party room at Dar Maghreb, a Moroccan restaurant on Sunset Blvd.

The meal included seven courses, which were all eaten communally, one platter for all to share and with fingers only, no silverware. The evening was so much fun. Johnny Rotten AKA John Lydon was so funny and charming and mostly well behaved. When the belly dancer came in to give us a show he got up and danced with her. He pulled his shirt up and played with his nipples while making faces. It was hilarious and prompted all us girls to get up and dance along. I spent a great deal of the evening talking to Wayne Kramer, surprisingly a very gentle quiet man when compared to his on-stage presence. He is extremely intelligent and deep. We all drank a lot, smoked a lot and ate a lot, seven courses that just seemed to just keep coming.

Lemmy left for Europe at the end of September.

When Lemmy returned mid-November, he asked that I pick him up at the airport. I loved picking him up and this time I wanted it to be special. I decided to show up at the gate wearing only lingerie and a trench coat.

Victoria Secret was my ‘go-to’ for lingerie. My goal was the sexiest thing I could find. My purchase was a two-piece set, red with feathers on the panties. ON the day of his arrival, I showed up specifically at his arrival time. I did not want to have any wait time. It is warm in Los Angeles in November and the trench coat was hot. I parked my truck and made my way to the gate. Wow, I was nervous as hell, and it felt as if everyone in the place was staring at me. I must have looked like a total freak in that big coat. Or maybe like a terrorist hiding something.

When I arrived at the gate, Lemmy’s flight was delayed – 2 hours! I would have to wait, in nothing but underwear and a trench coat. I found the nearest bar and sat down to have a cocktail. Anything to calm my nerves. I sat in that big coat at the bar until the flight arrived. Hot and sweating from both nerves and the outfit. What if I were caught what would they do? Indecent exposure?

As I sat at the bar I started to question the sanity of my actions. But when Lemmy got off that plane and came through the gate, I gave him a quick flash of the little red panty outfit with feathers flying. I knew that I had done the right thing and that it was worth the wait. Lemmy had the biggest look of surprise on his face followed by the biggest grin ever. When we got in the truck, I removed the coat and drove us to Lemmy’s home in my underwear. What a thrill for me and because of the huge grin on Lemmy’s face a total thrill for him.

Coming up Next

Fun New Year’s Eve

Naked on a Firetruck

One of the most romantic and perfect days in my relationship with Lemmy included a day at the Museum, playing pool and eating French fries with gravy at Barney’s Beanery.

Lemmy is a man of great surprises. Just when I would think “Oh, I have him all figured out”, he would do something completely out of character.

One Sunday morning, mid-May, I got up early and decided to go to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. When I arrived at the museum, I discovered that the featured exhibit included works of art by artists who had been banned by Nazi Germany.  I decided to take a chance and called Lemmy to ask him to join me. I figured that it was a shot in the dark and even imagining that Lemmy would want to spend a day with me wandering through a museum was difficult. But because it involved WWII, I took a shot. He said “Yes, I’ll join you it sounds interesting. I’ll see you soon”. I was in shock!

We spent the day walking through the entire museum, looking at sculptures, various types of artworks, furniture, and glasswork. I knew that Lemmy was smart, but this day proved that he knows about everything. I had his complete attention and felt so close to him.

At one point an older gentleman asked if he could sketch me. I agreed of course. Who says no to a question like that! Lemmy wandered around as the artist drew my picture and told me that I was the most beautiful woman and that he was stunned by my beauty. This made Lemmy smile and would become a teasing point in the months that followed with Lemmy holding out a limp wrist and repeating “Your stunning beauty”. Giggle.

After the museum he suggested that we go to the restaurant Barney’s Beanery to play pool and have a bite to eat. I was in heaven – French fries with gravy. It was the perfect day…Lemmy was attentive and fun and interesting and seemed to be focused on me. We were like a “normal” couple.

Nerd Alert !!!

I think in part Lemmy was trying to make up for a fight that we had had weeks earlier. The Los Angeles Zookeeper Program accepted me for the 1997 class and I had also graduated from the zoo’s Docent program.

Lemmy seemed excited and we planned for him to come to my docent graduation ceremony at the zoo. We were to celebrate both my graduation and my new Zookeeper study. I was so excited as he truly seemed to want to be with me on that day. But … when the day arrived, I waited and waited the ceremony started and ended…. and no Lemmy. As I watched the other graduates with their families I was crushed and felt alone. My friends were kind enough to make me feel part of their celebrations. But I was very upset: All smiles on the outside, tears on the inside.

Lemmy later explained that he did get a taxi to come to the zoo…… but they couldn’t find it. What?! I was furious. If you are going to lie why such a lame lie?  So, I believe the lovely day at the museum was a make up day. And it worked. I was in love!

Lemmy and Motorhead traveled to Japan a couple of weeks later.

I loved the postcards that were written on the bus. The hand writing illustrates how insane the bus movement can be. This is why I always had the worst motion sickness. Oh how comforting the solidness of land can be. Just having your feet planted on the earth is awesome!

To Tour or Not to Tour

The Motorhead/W.A.S.P. tour was cancelled in June so I was able to have more quality time with Lemmy. This cancellation provided an opportunity for him to shock me again.

Lemmy called me to invite me to a romantic dinner at the Rainbow. He had never invited me to dinner in this way. Normally dinner and trips to the Rainbow just happened. He had actually called the restaurant and made reservations and requested a nice table. On our walk from the apartment to the restaurant he held my hand and didn’t dash out way ahead of me. He was really trying to impress me after all of these years and was succeeding nicely. 

When we were seated at our table Lemmy ordered shrimp cocktail for an appetizer and not just one order, but one for each of us and one to share. This is where the evening took a weird turn.

I began to itch and squirm, and my face started to distort. Giant hives appeared on my face, arms and back. I could feel my mouth go dry and I felt light-headed. Lemmy was in shock and started to panic. I can still picture the look on his face. Eyes wide, mouth open… He said, “what do you need?’ “What should I do?’ Are you going to be Ok’? I told him that I was having an allergic reaction and that I needed Benadryl. He jumped up and went to ask if any of the kitchen or wait staff had anything. He came back to the table and said, “no one has any so I’m going up to Gil Turners liquor store to buy you some.” And off he went.

He was so freaked out and such a gentleman as he came to my rescue. It was so cute. I sat scratching and waiting, wondering if maybe I should be driving myself to the Emergency Room. These reactions can be at times very severe and possibly deadly. But I felt somewhat Ok and decided that if I just took some antihistamine, I would be ok.

Lemmy arrived breathless at our table, drugs in hand. “Here, take these pills right now,” he said. I took a couple pills and soon felt less itchy and looked less lumpy. When I imagine doing drugs with a rock Star boyfriend, Benedryl does not come to mind!

We continued with our meal and afterward we moved to the back bar to play Ms. Pacman. Lemmy kept asking me how I felt and was I ok. He was so concerned. Somehow my hives had changed the romantic mood of the evening, but it was a great effort on his part. I could see that he was really trying to make me happy and to show me how much he loved me.

It’s funny when I reflect back on our relationship, I see how goofy we were together, and it makes me giggle when I think of the silly situations that we got ourselves into.

Early August Lemmy left to tour Germany. I volunteered to clean his apartment, -as much as I could-, while he was away. I deal with stress by cleaning and Lemmy leaving town always gave me weird stress. So, I volunteered like a crazy person. Anyone who has ever been in Lemmy’s place understands why this is crazy. I met Lemmy’s assistant, Alex, and he gave me keys to Lemmy’s place. Wow, big step I thought. I am trusted enough to have keys to Lemmy’s apartment. I would spend evenings after work cleaning and organizing and it was exhausting. This was a huge project. What was I thinking? It would take months to really fully clean his apartment, so I did my best to put a dint in the mess.

When Lemmy was due to return home Alex asked that I pick him up from LAX. I was so excited for Lemmy to see the progress that I had made cleaning his apartment. He walked in and was in awe. He was so pleased. Immediately he went into the bedroom and when he returned, he handed be a sword … in a pillowcase?! A giant sword! I loved it and took it home to find a place to hang it on my living room wall.

Gifts from the road included a wooden spoon from Russia.

The Great Perks!!

One of the great perks of dating a rock star is the opportunity to go to just about any concert that you want, at a moment’s notice – free and with backstage access.

I was lying on Lemmy’s couch one Sunday afternoon reading the paper and nursing my usual Sunday hangover when I noticed that Alice Cooper was playing at Universal Amphitheater. I walked into Lemmy’s bedroom and said, “I want to see Alice Cooper tonight can we go?”  He looked up from the book that he was reading and said “Yeah, sure.” He picked up the phone, made a call and said, “Ok, It’s all set. A messenger will bring by our tickets and passes.”  “Wow, THAT was easy” I thought. The messenger arrived late to drop off our passes and tickets, so we missed Slaughter and Warrant perform. No giggling, theses were two of my favorite bands at the time.

When we arrived backstage at Universal Lemmy headed straight to the Video game machine and head down started to play. Just like at the Rainbow. Lucky for me there were lots of people there that I knew, so I did not feel abandoned.

We saw a little of Dokken’s performance and then Alice came on. All I can say is Alice Cooper kicks ass! This was the first time that I had the opportunity to see his show since 1991, Operation Rock N Roll, and I had forgotten how great it is. Whoever would have imagined that I would be here 6 years later, watching the show with Lemmy. That night I got to meet Don Dokken, Paul Stanley of KISS and a host of other rockers but I never saw Alice Cooper except when he was on stage. Lemmy told me that he was a very cool person and that he was disappointed that I didn’t get to meet him. And of course, after the show we made a beeline for The Rainbow Bar and Grill.

One of Lemmy’s favorite bands was Skunk Anansie. I first heard them years before at the foundations Forum that I attended with Lemmy. The band quickly became one of my favorites and have been to this day. In mid-September Skunk Anansie played The Troubadour in West Hollywood. After a friend of mine flaked on going to the, I called Lemmy who agreed to meet me at the show.

I get star struck when I meet some musicians and meeting Skin from the band I was in awe and maybe I had a bit of a crush. I was intimidated by her at first, she has such power, but her warmth and friendly nature made me feel as if I had known her forever. When I said that I wanted to take the show posters from the wall of the club, Skin laughed and helped me peel them from the tape. Lemmy and I hung out with the band and then we went to Barney’s Beanery for drinks and to shoot pool. Great night.

December 7^th brought another great night with great music. Lemmy called to invite me to The House of Blues to see Dokken with Pretty Boy Floyd and Enuff z Nuff. Don Dokken was good friends with Lemmy, and he was always nice to talk to and hang out with. The West Hollywood House of Blues was a great venue for shows. Upstairs, The Foundation room was always packed with rock stars and celebrities. It was one of my favorite places to see a show.

1997 seemed to be the year of romance, trying and fighting. Lemmy and I have always fought but this year we fought about everything. And it was odd because he was his most romantic and his most attentive. He once said defending his philandering ways “It’s just like smoking, you don’t just quit all at once.” Ha.

And I was just as unreasonable, the more he gave the more I wanted and expected – ready to move our relationship forward. I didn’t have unrealistic expectations like Lemmy never seeing any other women. I didn’t expect a “June Cleaver” fairy tale lifestyle with a little house surrounded by a white picket fence. But I wanted a partner that I could rely fully on and someone to share my life with.

What an odd couple we were. He this superstar rocker and me, the girl who volunteered at the zoo and aspired to be a biologist. I was so unlike the others that he spent time with. The type of gals that would take off their earrings and take you to the floor in a fight. I was a nerdy library girl who had tried being a stripper and found it not as easy as it looked.

Every time he did something romantic or different it would send my hopes soaring. When Lemmy spoke of us getting a house together my heart and hopes sored. And then the idea faded away. So, we fought. And we loved. At times we hated each other, could not live with or without each other.  And we had romantic moments that will live in my heart forever.

1997 was a year of healing and of adventure. I would finally go on the road with Lemmy AND Motorhead; Mikkey Dee, Phil and the Road Crew!

On January 3^rd I went to Billboard Live, a club on the Sunset strip to see the band L. A. Guns perform. I ran into Lemmy’s assistant Alex, and he told me that Lemmy was there and proceeded to turn to show me where. Grabbing him by the arm I said, “I don’t want to see him” Alex was shocked.

Continue reading “Ciao Italia! – On the road with Motorhead”

The trouble with porn stars (or I should say a specific porn star) is what almost led to a permanent breakup for Lemmy and I.

After my return from my trip to London and promptly getting fired from my job. Life with Lemmy returned to normal.

I started a new job almost at once, so my 8 to 5 lifestyle was a continuing issue. And on top of my weekday schedule of early mornings, I started volunteering at the LA Zoo. My zoo docent training would now occur every Saturday early mornings and my volunteer zookeeper training took up a couple of evenings during the week. Lemmy was getting a lot of competition that he did not like.

Continue reading “The Trouble With Porn Stars”

1996 brought a European vacation with Lemmy, the Queen, Nelson Mandela and the most embarrassing voicemail EVER!

Christmas and New Years Eve of 1995 had gone by without a hitch and no arguing. I was happy because this was the first time in our relationship that I was invited to spend BOTH holidays with Lemmy. We stayed in but we were together, so I was happy. My gift to him that year was a tripod for his video camera; given with the hope of controlling the distraction of his constant directing during sex. He was extremely pleased. And oh, how it improved our sex life – The days of Lemmy the director was over. Now the camera was on its own, out of hand, so the hands could be free to roam and do their own thing. I was so fascinated by watching myself live on the TV, it is so erotic.

Continue reading “Lemmy, The Queen, Nelson Mandela and That Voicemail”

Lemmy turns 50. It was one of the best nights of my life. The best party of my life. I think – from the little memory that I can pull from that night. So much alcohol. And I think anyone who attended the birthday party at the Whiskey a Go Go would say the same thing. What exactly happened that night, we may never know?

Side Note: Maybe one day I will do some regression therapy with a magic mushroom trip to recall all of the drown memories from that night.

Continue reading “Lemmy Turns 50 !”

The Rock Star Life beyond the Rainbow bar and Grill!!! Lemmy began to take me out as his girlfriend to fantastic events. I was happy to finally be getting out of the apartment and into the Rock World…on Lemmy’s arm.

Mid-August 1995, Lemmy invited me to come up for the weekend. I had no idea what the weekend plan was. I assumed we would stay in and watch movies or go to the Rainbow to drink. But no…This would be my first time meeting the amazing Tracii Guns.

I am a huge L.A. guns fan and I love Tracii …and here he was standing in Lemmy’s living room. He had stopped by Lemmy’s to talk about a benefit show they were playing in the next night for the “Children of the Night” aid organization. Tracii was filling in on guitar because Phil Campbell was not in L.A.

I was so pleased with how sweet and nice Tracii was. I hate meeting my favorite rock stars and finding out that they are jerks. Tracii has always been a true normal, caring individual.

Continue reading “Into the Rock World on Lemmy’s Arm”