The Rock Star Life beyond the Rainbow bar and Grill!!! Lemmy began to take me out as his girlfriend to fantastic events. I was happy to finally be getting out of the apartment and into the Rock World…on Lemmy’s arm.
Mid-August 1995, Lemmy invited me to come up for the weekend. I had no idea what the weekend plan was. I assumed we would stay in and watch movies or go to the Rainbow to drink. But no…This would be my first time meeting the amazing Tracii Guns.
I am a huge L.A. guns fan and I love Tracii …and here he was standing in Lemmy’s living room. He had stopped by Lemmy’s to talk about a benefit show they were playing in the next night for the “Children of the Night” aid organization. Tracii was filling in on guitar because Phil Campbell was not in L.A.
I was so pleased with how sweet and nice Tracii was. I hate meeting my favorite rock stars and finding out that they are jerks. Tracii has always been a true normal, caring individual.
Time to Party!
The next evening a huge, long black limo came to pick up Lemmy, Mikkey Dee and I.
The benefit was taking place at FM Station, a club in North Hollywood. We arrived at the venue and were escorted to the backstage area.
Plenty of free alcohol and food including an assortment of sushi. Lemmy asked me if I had ever tried sushi before and I told him “No.” I had never even seen sushi; all I knew was that it was raw fish. I wanted to be adventurous, but I also did not want to gag and throw up in front of Tracii Guns either.
After a few cocktails, the caterer showed me how to use the soy sauce and wasabi and explained what each piece was. Lemmy kept nudging me and saying, “go ahead, try it” “Be brave” “Didn’t you once say that you would eat anything?” He was being his usual ornery self and taunting me. I finally gave in and tried a piece.
Everyone looking on (I think with hopes that I would vomit my guts out). The wasabi was hot, but I managed to keep a cool head and I just loved it. The guys all broke into applause, and we all laughed. I was so comfortable that night. I wish I could remember all the people who were there.
What a great night – Sushi and Tracii Guns!
Our First Dinner Party
Lemmy and I were spending a ton of time together and getting close. I was starting to cook more for us, and we were going out as a couple more, our relationship was becoming very domestic. Domestic tasks like grocery shopping and trying to clean were becoming routine. I was doing all the girlfriend things.
Even though our relationship was moving forward I was surprised (and nervous) when Lemmy told me his tour manager and close friend Hobbs was coming over for dinner with his wife, Jay …And that I was cooking… for everyone! Like a real dinner party. Something that I had NEVER in my life done before. Sure, I could cook for Lemmy… but… So …Um….to be honest…. I was at this point… a cook for maybe? one other person kind of cook… Not a dinner party kind of cook.
I wanted to impress. I cooked a peppercorn steak with sides, and it was a success. Our guests seemed happy (Note the photo above. everyone is smiling and laughing… not one sick face!!), and I think Lemmy was impressed.
Foundations Forum and the toilet adventure
The 1995 Foundations Forum, a hard rock/heavy metal/hard alternative convention, was held in Burbank, Ca. Lemmy called me from his hotel and left me a message inviting me to join him. When I got the message, I was floored.
We had been getting closer and had settled into a wonderfully comfortable relationship, very domestic, but I was still shocked. He was, unbelievably, still transitioning out of his last “serious” relationship. But I knew that I had become “number one” to him. He was gradually taking me out more and of course the more I got the more I wanted. I had no idea what Foundations Forum was, but it sounded cool as hell. I packed and took a cab to the Burbank Hilton.
When I arrived, I could see that this was an important event. Rock Stars Everywhere! Feeling like a rock stars girlfriend, dressed the part, my new tits prominently displayed, I strolled into the hotel like I owned it, and everyone turned to check me out.
Lemmy was taking part on an artist panel at the time of my arrival, so I had to check in at the front desk to get a room key. Everyone near to where I was standing looked up in shock when I said I was staying in Lemmy’s room. So many rockers idolize Lemmy and consider him to be an influence.
When Lemmy finally came to the room he was so excited to see me. According to Lemmy sex in a hotel is different than regular sex. It is the feeling of being someplace different than home. He is VERY correct. I gave Lemmy the best sex of our relationship thus far – hotel style, and of course he had to video tape it.
Rock Stars Everywhere!
After relaxing a bit, we changed and went to party in the hotel bar. I was in heaven. The barroom was filled with some of my favorite rockers, Slaughter, Firehouse, etc.
The bar was playing new rock music and music videos were playing on TVs around the room. I believe this is the first time that I heard one of my favorite bands, Skunk Anansie. Love Love Love!!
One of the guys from Faith No More joined us for drinks. Everyone seemed in awe of Lemmy. After tons of drinks and several hours of partying Lemmy and I retired to his room to watch a movie.
Yes, we left a major party filled with rock stars to watch the movie “Congo”. I was so disappointed, but I understood that I had to keep in mind – I had been invited, and I now had a boyfriend and I guess staying up all night party hopping in a hotel was no longer in the plan.
Looking back on the situation, now I can see, that I had come a long way from the Casa Loma nightclub in little Cambridge, Ohio. I should have been slapped for my disappointment. But at the time deep down I really wanted to be at the parties with the rock stars.
Beware – Potty Humor Ahead
I am now going to relay the incident that occurred the following morning. For those of you with no appreciation for “toilet humor” you can skip ahead.
Lemmy and I were awakened in the usual manor when he has an early engagement or rehearsal – by the blaring of the telephone. Someone from Motorhead management starts to call Lemmy an hour or so before he is due to get out of bed. This gives him time to slowly come up from deep sleep and believe me Lemmy is the hardest person ever to wake up especially after a night of hard drinking. Finally, after about the second or third call we get up and order room service.
Now normally I have a cup of coffee and use the toilet facilities in the normal manor, but on this occasion, I had to formulate a plan due to the small size of the room and the proximity of bathroom to hotel room.
We eat breakfast and Lemmy dresses for the day. I figure I will do my usual bathroom potty duty and then immediately jump into the shower. The lovely strong smell of the soap and water will overpower and eliminate the smell of unpleasant potty duty smell. What else could I do; I had been holding all morning and was starting to get a bit uncomfortable.
There should be a rulebook on things like this. I mean here I was after a night of heavy partying, and I am in a small hotel room with rock idol Lemmy and I have to take a shit and not just a normal little pleasant shit but a huge 2 meal heavy drinking shit. We all know what that is like. Lemmy and I had never been in a hotel together before this weekend. In his apartment there is a room buffer, a fan in the bathroom and a big window, i.e., privacy, space and ventilation. But here…. the room is so small; Lemmy may as well be sitting on the toilet with me.
The Moment before Disaster
Anyway, my plan was working so far. I told Lemmy that I was going in for a shower and proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom. I do my best to make my “deposit” as quietly as possible and then it happens, I flush the toilet and turn to see that nothing is happening. My “deposit” is not going down in the usual manor but is slowly rising.
I could not believe it as I stared down at this slowly rising pile of the night after shit. All I could think was that Lemmy was right outside the door in our tiny hotel room. I try hard not to panic. But what to do, the water is rising and is now starting to flow over onto the floor. My head feels like it is going to explode. What the hell am I going to do?
All I can do is stand there helpless and stare. With a great sense of relief, after what seemed a lifetime, the water stops and luckily, most of my deposit is trapped by the seat and the bowl. I try to gather myself and decide that I must get Lemmy’s help. So, I open the door and walk into the main part of the room.
“I have a problem”
Lemmy is standing by the window looking down at the pool below. He turns and says “Wow, that was a quick shower”. I say, “I have a problem”. He says” What”?
I can tell by the look on his face that he can tell by the look on my face that this is going to be uncomfortable; one of those moments that all couples must endure but avoid like the plague.
I continue” the toilet overflowed” he says with a shrug “Its only water no big deal” I say pulling an odd face “Well I just went to the bathroom” … “Ya know?” He says, “I don’t want to hear it”. He places his hands over his ears and shakes his head. “I don’t want to know” …. “Girls are not supposed to do that” and finally “What do you want me to do about it?”.
All I could do was to stand there and stare stupidly. I say, “I don’t know” and he points to the phone and says, “call housekeeping, they will send someone to help you” – And with a giggle and a shake off his head Lemmy was gone.
I have never been through such an embarrassing situation. Well, not up to that point anyway. Poor Lemmy, the look on his face was classic. But in that moment, I felt closer to him than I had ever before, like we had reached a new level of comfort in our relationship.
COMING SOON – LEMMY TURNS 50 – STAY TUNED